Reasons Why

28 08 2007

I’m not losing my mind today, despite the number of eighth graders who have walked through my doorway and also in spite of the very few hours of sleep which I received last night (as a result of my newest television fetish–more on that later).

1. My students are reading today and those are my favorite days because they have surprised themselves already this year by how much they can read when they choose books they’re interested in.

2. The rest of the week involves decoupage.

3. I am drinking fiji water, which is nice because it comes in a pretty bottle.

4. I am going to trump the asshole in my English class who dons a greasy pony tail and is sadly fitted with hands that are too small and too dainty to be on any normal sized human beyond the age of twelve. I am going to trump his “metafiction” bullshit about the novel that Melville wrote after he wrote Moby Dick. It’s called Pierre, or The Ambuguities. Heard of it? Of course not. Everyone hated it because it’s stupid and poorly executed.

5. Tonight I don’t have class and tomorrow night, I have class with the craziest woman I have ever encountered even within the academic sphere. During our first class, her necklace broke and she genuinely asked the class, “Does anyone have any pliers?” Needlenose? Anyone?

6. My phone sings “Big Wheel” to me everytime it rings, reminding me that “I am an M.I.L.F.”

7. I have written in large letters across three of my white boards (the span of the classroom), “READ LIKE A WOLF EATS.”

8. There is an ice cream cake in my freezer.

9. This underwear doesn’t give me wedgies.

10. We had watermelon at lunch today that reminded me of my grandaddy on the fourth of July.

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3 responses

29 08 2007
Art

Whit!

I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed reading this today. It provided me with a much needed laugh. And don’t forget reason number to stay sane–3 day weekend coming up!

Have a blast!

Art

29 08 2007
whitreed

Thank you, Art. Good to hear from you! Hope your year is going well. After Sun Belt, I fell off the blog wagon… so I had to just dive back in! Hope to see you (or at least a new post form you) soon!

29 08 2007
Lauren

Nice.

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