Confession

31 10 2007

I ate 5 m&m cookies and a chocolate cupcake with whipped cream icing and a candy corn topping for lunch today. Since the pants I am donning right now are already a bit snug, I am anticipating an even more snug fit tomorrow (yes, I sometimes wear the same pants two days in a row–they’re softer and roomier the second go around). I’m considering my weight these days like a weather report.

Ah, hem. Due to the calorie front that swept across the lower portion of your body yesterday, you will be encountering seams that go straight up your ass and buttons that refuse to button in the midsection. Expect to suck in your gut for most of the day and don’t forget to do a few lunges before leaving the house in the morning. Tomorrow’s forecast: tight with a chance of underwear lines.

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4 responses

31 10 2007
Audra

Oh my holy hell, I am laughing my ass off! What a shame it is that we can’t actually laugh our assess off. That would make for a fabulous “weather” report.

31 10 2007
emmabolden

Seriously. All bets are off on Halloween. Seriously.

5 11 2007
Art

Damn girl! I am reading this in a library and might get kicked out! Sorry, Ma’am… I’ll try to laugh more quietly.

14 11 2007
Lindsay

lol, *sigh, I miss your honesty!!! Especially when I easily put down a LARGE bag of dark chocolate peanut m&m’s in 5 sittings last week, baked a cobbler and a cake with 3 half gallons of ice cream already in the freezer…….

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